| Heidi 的个人资料Just A Phoenix.. Rising ...日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
Migraines.. Part of college tuition should go toward buying Ibuprofen for the migraines.... Ah, well, it's the least of my worries. So what if sometimes my head feels like its going to implode? At least I'm still waking up every morning. And I'm working toward my degree every single day. So if the day ever comes when my life starts on another downhill slide that makes waking up in the morning seem regrettable, I can get the hell out of this life and start another one. A new life.. now, that sounds SWEET. I guess time will tell me how many of the people in my current life will be part of my new life. Sometimes you gotta take out the trash so it ain't stinking up your life. Trust - the most fragile substance.. We all know that diamonds are supposed to be the hardest substance known to man. Recently I've come to the conclusion that trust is the weakest.. at least when it is held in the hands of the person that gives it away. Trust can be really hard to break when it is trust that you have for someone else. Nothing that you personally do can break the trust you have for someone else. But if they're the one holding that trust, they can break it all too damned easily. Lie. Cheat. Steal. Betray. The ways to break your trust can't be counted. There's too many. But, would somebody please freaking tell me how to rebuild trust? Trust is Humpty Dumpty. Once its broke, putting it back together is too damned hard. Maybe not "too" hard.. but HARD. And it takes a really long time. Trust is a 5000 piece 3D puzzle. You can't put it back together in a single day if it gets knocked apart. Sometimes you can only put it together a piece at a time. No matter how much you want to be able to trust someone again after they've given you a solid reason NOT to. . It is just fucking impossible to just start trusting them all over again. It's an uphill journey, and sometimes you just don't want to take another single step. And it's tricky too. Sometimes, you think you've got it all reassembled.. and shit hits the fan, and you realize that its still fragile and at risk of tumbling off that damned wall again. Just like ol' Humpty. Damn. AND.. Love don't mean shit. Loving someone doesn't mean trusting them. You CAN love someone that you don't trust. And you can probably trust someone that you don't love. The moral? Even someone trusts you.. don't fuck it up. Don't break their trust in you. You don't have any idea how long it will take - or even if - for them to rebuild it. Like the old TootsiePop commercials.. how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center? How many days does it take to get to the trust that used to exist? As the old owl said.. Nobody knows. I know this much.. A LOT. Maybe someday I'll trust again. If I do, maybe I'll know how long it takes. Thank God forgiving doesn't take as long to give as renewed trust does. We'd be in a heap of shit then, huh? |
|
|
